Sunday, October 31, 2004
mood: whatever
sometimes i really envy it when i hear about you talking about your friends. because after some thought, i realise that i don't have a single friend with whom i'm so close. the kind of connection you have with your friends - i don't think i have felt it before.
was reading somebody's blog just now, and it struck me how easy words are. it's the action behind the words that are tough. really brought back many memories. it's hard to believe that you can be so close to somebody, you think you really really love this person, and then it all ends, as quickly and simply as the snap of the fingers. the devastation and despair that follows is life-consuming, heart-wrenching, soul-sapping.
am i contradicting myself? i say i don't have a single friend with whom i am so close, and then i say you can be so close to somebody.
i'm a contradiction. i vary between extremes. i'm hazardous. i'm boring and fun. i'm dull and weird. i'm hot-blooded and cold. i am, and i am not.
is it unhealthy to develop withdrawal symptoms? i love listening to your stories.
was reading somebody's blog just now, and it struck me how easy words are. it's the action behind the words that are tough. really brought back many memories. it's hard to believe that you can be so close to somebody, you think you really really love this person, and then it all ends, as quickly and simply as the snap of the fingers. the devastation and despair that follows is life-consuming, heart-wrenching, soul-sapping.
am i contradicting myself? i say i don't have a single friend with whom i am so close, and then i say you can be so close to somebody.
i'm a contradiction. i vary between extremes. i'm hazardous. i'm boring and fun. i'm dull and weird. i'm hot-blooded and cold. i am, and i am not.
is it unhealthy to develop withdrawal symptoms? i love listening to your stories.
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Saturday, October 30, 2004
late night conversations...
haven't been having them for a long time. am still amazed at my own stamina. of course, the person on the other end of the line was fascinating, that's why our conversation was so long... :P
what you said that night really made me think a lot.
"will you be sad if i say no?"
"we were so close, i was suffocating."
"i need space."
do you need space? am i suffocating you?
it was sweet of you to give in to my request and agree to spend the day with me. although we were supposed to meet up with a mission to accomplish, i ended up reading a book on the unexplained while you struggled through the paper by yourself. thank you for your company. :) i had fun.
i liked the later part of the itinerary though. :P dinner and movie! haha... and a walk to science centre. although the place was closed, there were still the fascinating structures outside the compound which brought out the child in you. you really looked like a kid at the playground, awed by the endless displays. it's true the place looks different at night. i dun believe i would have as great a time there in the day as i had last night with you. one can only imagine the huge number of noisy kids sprawling all over those fascinating structures.
the yawn is contagious, and so is your laugh. it doesn't surprise me that similar comments have been made about it before. :) nice tinkle.
and yes, the wink is charming and electrifying. ha. but i have gotten used to the electrocution. :P
you know that i'm just a phone call or sms away should you ever need:
1. someone to talk to;
2. someone to hang out with at some beach/park/cafe/anywhere;
3. someone to have your comfort food with you ;p ;
4. someone to listen to you;
5. any form of support/motivation/booster.
remember i'll suffer from withdrawal symptoms. :P
heck, i might even decide to go cycling at ubin...
what you said that night really made me think a lot.
"will you be sad if i say no?"
"we were so close, i was suffocating."
"i need space."
do you need space? am i suffocating you?
it was sweet of you to give in to my request and agree to spend the day with me. although we were supposed to meet up with a mission to accomplish, i ended up reading a book on the unexplained while you struggled through the paper by yourself. thank you for your company. :) i had fun.
i liked the later part of the itinerary though. :P dinner and movie! haha... and a walk to science centre. although the place was closed, there were still the fascinating structures outside the compound which brought out the child in you. you really looked like a kid at the playground, awed by the endless displays. it's true the place looks different at night. i dun believe i would have as great a time there in the day as i had last night with you. one can only imagine the huge number of noisy kids sprawling all over those fascinating structures.
the yawn is contagious, and so is your laugh. it doesn't surprise me that similar comments have been made about it before. :) nice tinkle.
and yes, the wink is charming and electrifying. ha. but i have gotten used to the electrocution. :P
you know that i'm just a phone call or sms away should you ever need:
1. someone to talk to;
2. someone to hang out with at some beach/park/cafe/anywhere;
3. someone to have your comfort food with you ;p ;
4. someone to listen to you;
5. any form of support/motivation/booster.
remember i'll suffer from withdrawal symptoms. :P
heck, i might even decide to go cycling at ubin...
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Thursday, October 28, 2004
that's what frens are for - no thx or apologies required.
was out yesterday with two frens. went shopping at plaza sing spotlight (15% discount!), bought some wool for knitting. the queue was horrendously long. later had waffle with ice-cream ($8.80!). however, though i was physically with them, my mind kept thinking of another dear friend. she was in a really bad mood and i didn't realise she was so upset. she really gave me a scare. i was really worried... but i didn't dare to msg too much, or call her in case i made things worse. sigh. could only keep thinking and praying that she'll be alright. when she called last night, i was really relieved coz i could tell that she was feeling much better.
girl, you know you have to clear this thing. i will help you any way i can. ok?
girl, you know you have to clear this thing. i will help you any way i can. ok?
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Monday, October 25, 2004
fascinating is the word
spent a large part of sat with a fren. we had lunch at madam saigon, somewhere in bugis. the beef noodles she had was more yummy than the stewed chicken with rice i had. think there was too much chicken. dessert was three colour ice. yums, but much coconut. the place was quite nice and it was surprisingly uncrowded, even for a sat afternoon.
after lunch we walked down to a building nearby - parkview square. when i used to take bus 82 to shaw tower, i would always see this forbidding palace and wonder - what building is that? and so my burning question was answered on sat. quite an interesting place, though our favourite feature was the "fountain" thingie. ha.
she planned the itinerary for that day. our next stop was changi. and so we went through the underground tunnel which was seriously under-utilised. the escalators kicked into action upon sensing our motion. fascinating. the bus came immediately when we reached the bus stop. pity it was a single deck and it was pretty crowded. but we managed to get seats when the bus came to the geylang area. it started drizzling/raining on the way to our destination. but she said, "have faith. it will stop." and stop it did. fascinating.
we alighted at the old changi prison site. old memories were demolished when old walls were torn down. so there was nothing much to reminiscence. i was trying to walk quietly so that she could pretend she was alone. for a period of time, her life revolved around that area. when i asked her more good or bad memories, she replied, "more bad". we had planned to visit the changi chapel and museum, though it was no longer the one i visited many years ago during a secondary school outing. the original chapel had been torn down. the old has to make way for the new? but is the new always necessary? we missed the opening hours by half an hour. but nonetheless, i still enjoyed myself.
our next stop was changi village. rather than hopping onto bus 2 immediately, we walked abit and took a detour down a sideroad which brought us past the dog unit. when we stepped into the side road, the crows overhead emitted a warning signal and flew off in a mad rush of calls and flapping wings. and then there was total silence. everything was so still.
the detour also brought us to an area where we could see the planes taxi-ing off the runway after landing.
i learnt that singapore has 15 prisons. of course, i could have remembered the number wrongly. but i was surprised that there are so many.
when we finally reached the bus stop, we boarded 29. as the bus passed by the chalets, she was reminded of the quarters she used to stay in. much eerie experiences and memories. dinner at changi village was a very rushed affair. many people were waiting for seats, and we had to hurriedly finish our food and get the hell out of there because it was so pressurising to eat with someone breathing down your neck.
we walked to changi beach and made our way to the breakwater. she was walking quickly and i pointed it out to her. she said, "when i have a destination in mind, i will walk faster." we sat at the breakwater and talked alot, looked at the lights out at sea and on the planes, and analysed their meaning. having studied about them before, she told me that red=port and green=starboard. but she had trouble realising that the flashing red lights on the plane are different from the port light. haha. :P
at around 9, we started walking back to take bus 2. her faith must be really strong, or else her protective bubble was very effective. it started raining the moment we reached the bus stop after a long walk. fascinating.
i learnt alot that day. not just about the lights, but about her. and her continued existence today can only be described using one word - miraculous.
girl, you've had so many close shaves, so many times when you could have gone home to Him. but everytime, He kept you safe. He let you grow and He moulded you; He shaped you into the person you are today. although He made life miserable for you, He gave you good frens to help you through it. like i said, although i may never be as close a fren as M or R, i am still thankful that i got to know you. thank you for sharing your past with me. when it comes to the day when you can no longer reply my smses or emails, i will grieve. i do not know what happened to you two years ago, and i will not force you to tell. but there will come a day when you are ready, and i will remember to ask you 20 years down the road. remember the promise we made while crossing the road at chinatown. i will have faith. :)
i stand by what i have said long ago - you are fascinating. words alone cannot express how i feel. i love you.
after lunch we walked down to a building nearby - parkview square. when i used to take bus 82 to shaw tower, i would always see this forbidding palace and wonder - what building is that? and so my burning question was answered on sat. quite an interesting place, though our favourite feature was the "fountain" thingie. ha.
she planned the itinerary for that day. our next stop was changi. and so we went through the underground tunnel which was seriously under-utilised. the escalators kicked into action upon sensing our motion. fascinating. the bus came immediately when we reached the bus stop. pity it was a single deck and it was pretty crowded. but we managed to get seats when the bus came to the geylang area. it started drizzling/raining on the way to our destination. but she said, "have faith. it will stop." and stop it did. fascinating.
we alighted at the old changi prison site. old memories were demolished when old walls were torn down. so there was nothing much to reminiscence. i was trying to walk quietly so that she could pretend she was alone. for a period of time, her life revolved around that area. when i asked her more good or bad memories, she replied, "more bad". we had planned to visit the changi chapel and museum, though it was no longer the one i visited many years ago during a secondary school outing. the original chapel had been torn down. the old has to make way for the new? but is the new always necessary? we missed the opening hours by half an hour. but nonetheless, i still enjoyed myself.
our next stop was changi village. rather than hopping onto bus 2 immediately, we walked abit and took a detour down a sideroad which brought us past the dog unit. when we stepped into the side road, the crows overhead emitted a warning signal and flew off in a mad rush of calls and flapping wings. and then there was total silence. everything was so still.
the detour also brought us to an area where we could see the planes taxi-ing off the runway after landing.
i learnt that singapore has 15 prisons. of course, i could have remembered the number wrongly. but i was surprised that there are so many.
when we finally reached the bus stop, we boarded 29. as the bus passed by the chalets, she was reminded of the quarters she used to stay in. much eerie experiences and memories. dinner at changi village was a very rushed affair. many people were waiting for seats, and we had to hurriedly finish our food and get the hell out of there because it was so pressurising to eat with someone breathing down your neck.
we walked to changi beach and made our way to the breakwater. she was walking quickly and i pointed it out to her. she said, "when i have a destination in mind, i will walk faster." we sat at the breakwater and talked alot, looked at the lights out at sea and on the planes, and analysed their meaning. having studied about them before, she told me that red=port and green=starboard. but she had trouble realising that the flashing red lights on the plane are different from the port light. haha. :P
at around 9, we started walking back to take bus 2. her faith must be really strong, or else her protective bubble was very effective. it started raining the moment we reached the bus stop after a long walk. fascinating.
i learnt alot that day. not just about the lights, but about her. and her continued existence today can only be described using one word - miraculous.
girl, you've had so many close shaves, so many times when you could have gone home to Him. but everytime, He kept you safe. He let you grow and He moulded you; He shaped you into the person you are today. although He made life miserable for you, He gave you good frens to help you through it. like i said, although i may never be as close a fren as M or R, i am still thankful that i got to know you. thank you for sharing your past with me. when it comes to the day when you can no longer reply my smses or emails, i will grieve. i do not know what happened to you two years ago, and i will not force you to tell. but there will come a day when you are ready, and i will remember to ask you 20 years down the road. remember the promise we made while crossing the road at chinatown. i will have faith. :)
i stand by what i have said long ago - you are fascinating. words alone cannot express how i feel. i love you.
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Monday, October 11, 2004
...
a few days of total unproductivity.
they say "the mind is willing but the flesh is weak"; i say, even the mind was weak. a couple of assignments to rush but no energy or mood to get started on any. MC buys me an extra day to get all those undone assignments rushed out. but quality will be very much compromised. and still not thinking at all straight, so how?
they say "the mind is willing but the flesh is weak"; i say, even the mind was weak. a couple of assignments to rush but no energy or mood to get started on any. MC buys me an extra day to get all those undone assignments rushed out. but quality will be very much compromised. and still not thinking at all straight, so how?
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Wednesday, October 06, 2004
:(
Sunday, October 03, 2004
The Motorcycle Diaries
caught the show last night at plaza sing with a shuai ge. :P haha...
it'd be a show that i would never have thought of watching, due to several reasons.
1. i do not usually take notice of foreign films. this was a spanish one.
2. i do not usually watch shows that would make me think. this was one that was thought-provoking.
but despite the fact that:
(a) i had to quickly read the subtitles in order to see the rest of the screen;
(b) i had to endure the irritating fella behind me who kept kicking my seat;
(c) i had to refrain myself from chiding the woman two seats away whose hp rang during the show and she was blissfully unaware of it for half a minute,
i still enjoyed the show, due to the following reasons:
1. i'm a sucker for beautiful sceneries. the show had plenty of that.
2. i had great company! (read: shuai ge)
haha.
next stop: the terminal.
it'd be a show that i would never have thought of watching, due to several reasons.
1. i do not usually take notice of foreign films. this was a spanish one.
2. i do not usually watch shows that would make me think. this was one that was thought-provoking.
but despite the fact that:
(a) i had to quickly read the subtitles in order to see the rest of the screen;
(b) i had to endure the irritating fella behind me who kept kicking my seat;
(c) i had to refrain myself from chiding the woman two seats away whose hp rang during the show and she was blissfully unaware of it for half a minute,
i still enjoyed the show, due to the following reasons:
1. i'm a sucker for beautiful sceneries. the show had plenty of that.
2. i had great company! (read: shuai ge)
haha.
next stop: the terminal.
